Well I seem to have set a record for art block. I havn't been able to get super into anything for about a year. It's driving me crazy. I've resorted to forcing myself to paint. But it never comes out how i want when I make myself do it Of course.


Me and Andy are so restless in this place - I've lived here for a year and three months and the lease is until March. Ugh. So I'm feeling a bit stuck. This place is so drab and unartistic. I just can't wait to get on the market again and find a place with some light and air about it. And I feel less and less safe in this city all the time :/

Oh and I am SO not looking forward to the Olympics. It's all we hear about. And unfortunately I work right beside the stupid Olympic Village they are building, so the whole road will be closed off and patrolled. BLAH. I've already seen a lot of military folk scoping things out, and supposedly they are bringing in like TONS of cops from the states. Transit is going to be hell. It's bad enough in winter as is. Took me 8 hours to get home after an 8 hour day at work last christmas eve cause a tree fell on the skytrain tracks and it was snowing and nasty and all the buses and cabs were totally full. Everyone is trying to leave the city for the Olympics I can't.

A new employee at work found it bizarre when i told him i worked full time at the art store, and he was like "Isn't it a bit hard to pay the bills?" Uh, YEAH. I make $10.09 and work my life away. Never seems to be any better. Oh well, I'm finishing up my portfolio and I plan to apply to art school for next fall, so then i can quit, take out a loan, and hopefully things will be good ALSO when me n Andy get a new place we're going to try and get one dog friendly so I can get a puppy Of course Star is in no way a city dog and is happy in her country estate with my parents *sniff* So, i'm thinking of getting a shiba Inu Generally I cant stand small dogs, but these I love, and I never thought it fair to have a bigger dog in an apartment. So many people downtown have great danes in their little Yaletown highrises, it boggles my mind.

On the upside, 2 months exactly and nothing in this city will be outta my paws - FINALLY after living as a minor in the big city for a year and a half I can get out there. Although I've done enough partying, so i'm really not that ecstatic. But it's a nice thought.

Ugh and I've been reading the Chronicles of Ancient Darkness - finally finished the first 5 books (the 6th is the last and it comes/came out this year, but i havnt gotten my paws on it yet) and oh HOW i miss the wilderness. Ravens cawing; the moss comforting the forest floor; Lichen dripping fro every tree; Toadstools and clumps of faerie houses; Deer and running rivers and lakes and everything that lay in the forests outside of little PR. I miss Suicide Creek the most I think. Out by our camping spot.... Argh. And the city just makes me feel so torn away from my spirituality. I've taken to wearing and holding close amulets and talismans. I just want to romp in the forest with my dog :'(

So life drawls on and I havnt really gotten very far since i left school, but you know what - Oh well. Maybe I needed the break to get a grip on life before i rush out and start everything. I have some friends here, Im very happy with my boyfriend, and things are getting going. What else could I ask for? Well. Other than a puppy

Wellll I love you all, and I miss you all so much.
xox